The Teaching Annex

How to Make $300 Million in 30 Days by Spending $30 Million!
With the Caveat That, at the End of the 30 Days, You Can’t Own Anything, and You’re Not Allowed to Tell Anyone What You’re Doing!

How many times have you been told that you’re the sole heir to one of the richest men in the country, and that he just died, leaving you a quarter of a billion dollars? But it seems like you can never get that money unless you accomplish an exceedingly convoluted high-concept task that strains the bounds of believability but provides plenty of opportunity for comic set-pieces, am I right?

Monty Brewster knows firsthand how tough it can be to inherit a fortune and then have to spend a small percentage of it in an arbitrary time period. He had to deal with the capricious whims of a dead tycoon and the reproaches of a beautiful woman who might just have wound up helping him. In the end, he got his millions, and you can too!

Brewster’s course will teach you:

That a good motto is “While you don’t have to be crazy to blow $30 Million in 30 days, it helps”
How to watch out for supporting characters who will profit from your failure
Whatever you do, don’t give John Candy any of your money, for fear that he’ll invest in the stock market and ruin your chances of success at the end of the 2nd act.

Montgomery “Monty” Brewster was a minor league baseball player who didn’t know he had a millionaire uncle until the man passed away.

Course 549
Sec. A March 9 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

How To Use Intentional Typos as Legal Loopholes… Garanteed!

What if you could make ANY guarantee you wanted, without being held legally responsible… guaranted! Now you can, thanks to Leslie Twy-Spornk and her patented system of “typography” – an amazing new technique for using ordinary typos as fool-proof leagal loop-holes.

Ms. Twy-Spornk personally promisses that after taking her class, you will never again be held legally responsible for failing to live up to your written promises.

Leslie Twy-Spornk is a leading expert
in the field of misleading people.
She has served as a consultent for famous
politiciens, celebraties, and atheletes.

You’ll learn:

Witch kind of typos are the hardest to spot
Which words are the most important to intentionally mispell

And remember, if you’re not 100 precent satisfied with your learing experience, you’ll get your money back, no questians asked!

Course 87552
Sec. A March 1 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Make Plagiarism Work for You!

Orange Julius: it’s the most successful blended orange juice and milk beverage franchise of the last twenty years! And now — in this eye-opening class — professional forward thinker Bo Knifeworthy will dare to ask: who’s next to have their house of failure blown down by the Julius’ financial whirlwind of money?

Bo Knifeworthy is the author
of John Updike’s Run Rabbit, Run.

The Julius worked for oranges, and oranges are just fruit, so why can’t it work for you? Bo Knifeworthy has examined current trends and he thinks he knows how to tell which products he believes stand a chance to be next in line to possibly become the Julius’ new victim of success! Will it be the apple? The breadloaf? The orange again? You’ll have to take the class to find out for sure!

By getting in early on the ground floor of the next great Julius enterprise from the beginning, you can put yourself in a position to start making money hand over Julius! And then some!

Course 452
Sec. A April 2 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

The Julius: It Worked for Oranges, Who’s Next?

Orange Julius: it’s the most successful blended orange juice and milk beverage franchise of the last twenty years! And now — in this eye-opening class — professional forward thinker Bill Abe will dare to ask: who’s next to have their house of failure blown down by the Julius’ financial whirlwind of money?

Bill Abe

The Julius worked for oranges, and oranges are just fruit, so why can’t it work for you? Bill Abe has examined current trends and he thinks he knows how to tell which products he believes stand a chance to be next in line to possibly become the Julius’ new victim of success! Will it be the apple? The breadloaf? The orange again? You’ll have to take the class to find out for sure!

By getting in early on the ground floor of the next great Julius enterprise from the beginning, you can put yourself in a position to start making money hand over Julius! And then some!

Bill Abe has predicted a number of the biggest trends of the last decade, including “coffee shops selling gum” and “things being either hot or not.”

Course 45646
Sec. A March 13 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Chaironomics: You’re Sitting on a Fortune!

How would you like to make money just by sitting around? This is not an unfunny joke! We’ve all heard of “economics,” so it’s a shock that nobody ever thought of “chaironomics” before. But now they have! And ‘they’ is famed outsider financier Glorn Venswap.

Chaironomics is the unique fiscal theory that asks the question: “We all sit down in chairs sometimes, so where is that money going?!” Glorn Venswap believes that the answer to that question is “Why not you?!”

He’ll cover:

Sitting your way to financial independence
Upholstering your way to low interest rates
Not leaning back your way to economic pitfalls
And other stuff!

Glorn Venswap has won four Dollary Awards for his groundbreaking work in the field of money. He is the author of Oreganomics: Unlocking the Financial Power of Your Spice Cabinet.

Course 8303
Sec. A March 24 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

How would you like to make enormous profits whenever other people speak?™ You can, just by trademarking™ the “words and phrases”© that we all use® everyday!

There’s never been a better time™ to take® advantage of people’s habits of saying things that they always say®, and Mary Donald Plymouthsmith can show you how™! Mrs. Plymouthsmith has made a fortune© off copyrighting such commonly-used words as “fortune”© and® “and”®! And® now it’s your turn!

In this informative class, you’ll learn:

How to trademark™ a word
How to have trademarked™ all it’s various conjugations
Trademarking™ punction marks?™ Yes!
And® more!

Mary Donald Plymouthsmith has earned® over $140,000 by suing™ people for repeatedly© using her trademarked™ “words and phrases.”© She previously taught a Teaching Annex course on winning frivolous lawsuits.
Course 736465
Sec. A March 19 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Add Flair To Any Conzept:
Just By Adding a Z!

Do you have an idea? Is it boring and lame? There is a solution other than having a better idea! The answer to your problem is right in front of you. Can you see it? Or rather, can you “Z” it?

In this inZtructional and amaZing claZZ, veteran excitementor Amot Fliona will teach you how to add zing to any concept, just by adding a Z! It’s as simple as riding a bike. Or multiple bikz!

Amot is the mastermind behind such groundbreaking ideas as “Baseball Batz,” “Hamz and Cheez,” and “The Hang-Gliderz Guild.” Now, for the first time ever, he’s willing to share his zecrets to zuccesz with zou!

You’ll learn:

Amot Fliona

How to have ideas that contain words that contain the letter ‘S’
How to turn any ‘S’ into a ‘Z’ using Amot’s patented “switching the two letters” process
And so much more!

Amot Fliona is a Phoenix-renowned trendspotter and creatively designated culture assignmentist. He is the author of X: Your X-Factor to X-Citing X-Citement! and S-oteric: The Death of a Letter.

Course 1953
Sec. A April 24 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

How to Make $300 Million in 30 Days by Spending $30 Million!With the Caveat That, at the End of the 30 Days, You Can’t Own Anything, and You’re Not Allowed to Tell Anyone What You’re Doing!